It's not what you gather, but what you scatter, that tells what kind of a life you have lived.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Families

I spent the afternoon yesterday looking at pictures with my grandchildren. Pictures of our family, old and new. (The pictures, not the family.) Pictures of people that they know and some they don't know, family members they have never met, and some they never will. It got me to thinking about families, and how they intertwine one with another, and how sometimes they lose the thread that ties them all together because of hurt feelings, or arguments, or just because they move away and grow apart.

My children are all very strong-willed (gee, I wonder where they got that!) and they fight a lot. And I don't just mean they argue, but they get so mad at one another that they don't speak to one another or associate with one another for months at a time. Considering the fragile nature of this life, I think that's downright stupid. And that's not a word I use lightly. I can't even imagine being that mad at someone I love. So mad that I wouldn't let my family share in family events if that "other" part of the family was there. So mad that I would back out of commitments I had made to them. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand that level of selfishness.

I have a sister that I would give most anything to be close to. She is my father's daughter by his first marriage, and her mother wouldn't let her have anything to do with us, so I never got the chance to get to know her when we were young. I have had the opportunity to get to know her a little as an adult, and I know that she is someone who brings joy and light to the lives of those who know and love her. I know that her family is the most important thing to her, and she would do anything for them. I know she is married to a good man, who loves her and their family, and takes care of them. My oldest daughter got to spend time in their home while she went to summer school one year, and the whole family welcomed her with open arms and made her feel a part of their family, and for that I will be ever grateful. I'm also grateful that at least one of my children knows her better than I do.

My parents both passed away when my own children were fairly young, and so my grandchildren will never get to know them. They were not perfect, but they were wonderful people doing the best they could.

All of this has a point, I promise. It leads to the fact that families break up for many different reasons, some of which we have no control over. The things we CAN control, we should! We should be mature enough to not let disagreements take over our lives. We should keep our families close, even if they live halfway across the country. We should realize that when the world as we know it is over, and there are no more lemons to make lemonade from, that what is left is our family. FAMILY.

So, as you read this, I hope you are making a mental list of those family members you haven't heard from in a while, and making plans to call them, or write to them. Or even go see them. And for heaven's sake, get out those pictures. Show them to your children and grandchildren and reminisce with them. Tell them who the people in the photos are and why they are important to you. And don't forget....tell your family that you love them. They are your most valuable assets. Never let life come between you. 'Night. Gramma G

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